The Best Piece of Dating Advice I Have Received

Dating advice is a dime a dozen. Everywhere you turn you are bombarded with magazines that state they can help you find true love or at least help you find a candidate good enough to date. I know I refer to dating as “the dating world”, but it truly does feel like a world of its own! It’s not only magazines that try to hone in on helping you find the one – TV, books, your mum, and even websites like this one are always pushing their “tried and tested” methods on you. We all know it’s not really that simple, but I too, am going to share with you one of the wisest pieces of advice I ever received when I was out there in the big, vast world of dating. It initially sounded a bit controversial, but it makes more sense than you may immediately think it does.

The most “controversial” piece of advice that I received whilst in the dating world was from my therapist. Yes, I had a therapist in my 20’s, and you know what, it was the best thing I ever did. But as I tend to say often enough, that’s another story for another day. After using my sessions to vent about the current state of affairs in my romantic life, my male therapist said something that ended up being quite revolutionary for me at the time. “Your goal should be to date 3 people at the same time”, he said. I think my eyes went even bigger than they already are. This was ridiculous, and not only was it ridiculous it was carte blanche to go around the block if you catch my drift. Of course, that’s not what he meant, but this sage advice opened up a new way of thinking for me and helped me come out of the old-fashioned notion that I had been blinded by.

Dating 3 people at once felt off, to say the least. We are conditioned to believe that we need to be “loyal” and “faithful” to our potential long-term partners from the get-go. Not only is that completely ridiculous, it’s completely erroneous. Why would you possibly want to “settle” for what could be “the one” at such an early age. The thing is this, to some, your early 20’s isn’t really that young an age at all. By that time you should be getting ready to settle down, and having a long-term partner already is something that is usually commended. Sure, you’re 23, but you’ve been with your partner for 6 years, that’s brilliant! There are people that do find the one early on, but the flip side is that quite a number of those relationships are finished by the age of 30 and sometimes it comes down to only having tasted one flavour before committing to loving that sole flavour for the rest of your life.

Dating 3 people at the same time is the perfect way to get to know yourself. It shows you what you like, and what you don’t. The power of choice is everywhere, but getting to know different people simultaneously is seen as scheming? That’s surely not right. I mean, why buy a car without test driving different brands and models. Would you? I’m not talking about sleeping with people or leading them on, but getting to know different people and leaving that burden of commitment aside early on can help you develop a stronger sense of your likes and dislikes and help you make the right decision when the time does come that you find “the one”. Think of dating as a job interview. You surely wouldn’t take the first job or hire the first candidate that applies – that’s desperation and that opens up a whole other can of worms.

So the takeaway is this, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, and if you are looking for a dating companion why not look for 3? You’ll get to know more about yourself by interacting with them and ultimately be primed and ready for when the right candidate comes along. Local dating sites like Galloway datingHereford dating, Reading dating, Sussex dating, and over 50s dating Yorkshire can help get you started.

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  • Laura Dove

    Ooh I’ve never heard this advice but I can see how it can work. When I was single there wasn’t really a thing as dating more than one person, it was considered cheating, but that’s before we became more Americanised and dating actually became a thing!

    • I never thought about it as an American thing. I’m American, so I suppose it makes sense that it’s been the norm in my culture. Never thought about it as a cultural thing, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense.

  • Jinzo_2400

    This isn’t so far-fetched as one would think. Thanks to online dating services many people do just this. They will date multiple people up to a certain level….once that level is reached,they will shed that partner and move on to another one….I had 3 friends tell me about this as well as reading other stories. Dating is a ugly place at times.

    • Dating can be an ugly place. I do see people being casual more and more. Not as in casual sex and toying with others emotions, but more of a dating casually and seeing how things go instead of dropping someone and hurting them in the process.

  • Oh gosh, no there’s no way I could have done that. I think it’s unkind to the people one would be dating to be seeing other people at the same time. I wouldn’t want it done to me, so I could never do it to someone else. But hey, I suppose that’s the wonderful thing about this modern world – anything goes! 🙂

    • I suppose I didn’t clarify that it is not a secretive thing. If you are in the early stages of dating and getting to know someone and there is no commitment factor then there shouldn’t be feeling of deceit. Think about people who date online, they usually go on different dates to sift through potential long(er) term partners. Once there is intimacy then exclusivity should be there, but if getting to know someone via dinner, drinks, and “dates” then why not? As long as they are aware, and you are consenting adults, it shouldn’t be a taboo.

  • Angela Milnes

    I think for me one date at a time is best… I never used a dating service and I do think there is a difference between going on dates and actually go out with one person, it’s a cultural thing too. Dates in the UK are much more serious than the USA. I think.

  • Jenna E Morley

    I can see how this advice makes sense, I really think getting to know who you are goes hand in hand with the people you spend time with.

  • Melanie Edjourian

    My friend went out with a couple at a time and she found it quite a good way of helping her deciding that neither was right for her. OPsy. Oh well I hope she finds someone she likes eventually. When I was dating it was more a one person at a time deal.

  • Amy Deverson

    I think because I’m with my boyfriend who I really love now I can’t imagine dating two people at the same time! Sounds interesting though haha! xx

  • Hungry_Healthy_Happy

    I have never dated before (I met my husband when I was 16), but it seems like a total minefield.

  • Cassandra

    I haven’t dated yet but even though I understand this view point I personally think I’d date one person. Men seem really stupid imagine seeing 3!