Life can be difficult sometimes, especially if things don’t always fall into place when you want, or need them to. Often we’re our own worst enemy as we compare ourselves to our friends, family and loved ones, focusing on what we haven’t got instead of being thankful for what we do have. It’s sometimes easier to trust what someone else says instead of relying on our own instincts. Why is that though? We believe other people know better, but it’s important to remember that only one person can sit in the driving seat and if you don’t control your own life others will.
5 Simple Tips to Take Control of Your Life and Live Life on Your Terms
Remember Who You Are
If you’ve found yourself agreeing with someone for the sake of it, leaving a job you love for one your family thinks is better or finding yourself backing down in arguments for a quiet life then you may be in danger of becoming a passenger in your own life. Think about what you want for your life, where you want to live, how you wish to dress and where you’d like to be in your career instead of what others believe. Spend time making a list of SMART goals, get in touch with your creative side and write, draw or take pictures of your ideal future.
Try to ignore comments, remarks, and protests from the people around you, as if they’re truly your friends they will be pleased that you’re making changes. Acknowledge that things haven’t been easy, as you start to feel stronger, more confident and in control, you may feel a sense of grief for the way you just floated through life before.
Get Some Distance
We’re not saying that you should move to the other side of the world but instead to create some emotional distance between yourself and others. If you find you spend a lot of time with your family and not so much with your partner’s mix it up a little! Why not go there for spring break? Go on a summer family vacation? Or visit them at Thanksgiving this year? If you feel like you can’t make any decisions without consulting your family here’s how to break the cycle. Firstly, while communication is good unless you’d like to, you don’t need to speak to your parents every day, as a grown adult you’re allowed to suggest a convenient time to call or make it clear that phone calls during working hours will not be answered.
You’re An Amazing Person
By now you’re probably feeling a bit down in the dumps, after all, we’ve just been telling you you’ve not actually been living your life, but now it’s time to celebrate you! Everyone is amazing, we all possess our own unique strengths, weaknesses, talents and skills but only you can allow yourself to feel sad, or unhappy about something. Don’t rely on others to tell you you’re wonderful, say it to yourself in the mirror every morning and you’ll soon realize that you weren’t after a compliment, you were after validation that you mattered. This behavior at its extreme, can make you feel weak, needy or a burden to the people in your life and at the same time boost someone’s self-esteem by making them feel like they’re superior.
Drains And Radiators
You don’t need to have a Tarot Reading to figure out someone’s not right for you although booking a few Readings with Matt may help you to see where you’ve been going wrong in your relationships. Avoid people who only call you when they need something, don’t make time for you when you’re upset or leave you feeling worse about yourself. These are the drains, people who aren’t worth your time and energy and who are often looking for a scapegoat to blame all their problems on.
Never accept friendships that feel one-sided, fraught with jealousy and passive aggressive behavior and cut ties with anyone who makes nasty, sanctimonious comments as they clearly don’t care about your health and well-being. Instead, focus your attention the radiators, warm, caring individuals who support your dreams, goals, and plans and who’ll gently listen, without judgment, to your fears, worries, and frustrations.
People Aren’t Projects
Whatever you do don’t assume you can fix someone! People aren’t like computer’s they don’t have replacement hard drives and often insisting someone is broken or faulty can make things much worse! They may not see that there’s anything wrong and instead blame you for causing them stress and problems. If you’ve tried to help someone and they’ve either brushed it away or continued to engage in a negative activity, your only option may be to walk away either mentally or physically.