Relationships are hard work. I know that’s not really news, but believe me, that couple that appears to be seemingly living in bliss have probably had their fair share of ups and downs. Is it smug to say that my relationship is one of those that looks so united and perfect to everyone on the outside?
Yes, I suppose that it does sound smug. The point I’m making though is that no matter how perfect everything may look, it’s not always like that. There’s a lot of hard work that has to be put in and it’s not just about finding time to nurture relationships when you’re busy, it’s about making the time.
So, what can I share with you on the subject of how to nurture relationships? Quite a lot. This is how I make it work when life gets overwhelming.
Allow Yourselves to Miss Each Other
It may sound strange that I am suggesting time apart as a way to come together, but hear me out. My other half and I are seemingly always together. With us both living the freelance life at the moment we are basically working side by side day in and day out. On top of that, since we are away from the UK at the moment, we are don’t have the routine of seeing our kids every other weekend.
We have lots of free downtime, but since we work together as well we are seeing a lot more of each other than what can be deemed healthy. Add to the mix that we are living in a teeny tiny studio flat and you’ll realise why I’m recommending time apart! No matter how much you may love your other half that much exposure to a single person can feel suffocating.
We all need different levels of “me” time, but whatever your needs are prioritising them is a must. I need quite a lot of personal space, whilst my other half can magically enter a world of his own when we are together and that is enough for him. I can’t do that, so marking my distance is a must to keep me sane and make me miss him. Giving yourselves space is a great way to truly enjoy the time you have together.
Set A Date Night
Having a couple night is a great way to feel like you’re dating again, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. Long-term relationships can fall into a routine quite fast and sometimes it can all just spiral downhill from there. I’ve realised that by dedicating a specific night of the week to go out on a date you get to feel the novelty and buzz of a new relationship.
On our date nights, we try and look nicer than we usually do. We pick out a nice place to eat, where we normally wouldn’t go day in and day out. And we don’t worry about the day to day issues of life. There’s no talk about obligations and duties, it’s all a nice environment that takes us out of the routine. Date night doesn’t have to mean going out though. We also have date nights in. You can’t go wrong with Netflix, a nice takeaway, and some snuggling on the duvet.
Multitask and Make The Best of Your Time Together
The other half and I have our set routines in England. As I mentioned before, we see the kiddos every other weekend and with us living in the North West and them living in the South, well, we have amassed quite a lot of miles. Since we have our routine down pat, our driving time has become a bit of a free for all safe space. We love our quality time in the car. We sing, we talk about life, we share our aspirations and open up our hearts and souls, we have family meetings; basically, we do it all.
Our car time could have easily become a drag since we drive quite a far distance quite often, but no, we have made the conscious decision of making the best of whatever time we have and for us, the car time has become quite important. It’s a way to reconnect and a way to truly nurture our love by spending quality time together despite the location.
Making Time For Lovemaking
When your life is hectic with work, kids, and life then it’s easy to leave love making out in the cold. With physical intimacy being such an integral part of the bond in a relationship it’s importance shouldn’t be taken for granted. Some may argue that lovemaking should be spontaneous and not planned. I agree to an extent, but the thing is it’s so easy to let it fall by the wayside. You are knackered at the end of the night and all you want is sleep. But if you want to skip something that night skip washing your face or brushing out your hair or whatever it is you do before you go to sleep.
It’s not about penciling in lovemaking, no, it’s about being consciously aware of the importance that it has and knowing that it enhances your relationship.
Finding time to nurture relationships is so important and there’s no one size fits all approach. It’s all about making the best of your circumstances and elevating your relationship to the level it should be at if it’s not there already. What are your tips to find time to nurture relationships?