Dating advice is a dime a dozen. Everywhere you turn you are bombarded with magazines that state they can help you find true love or at least help you find a candidate good enough to date. I know I refer to dating as “the dating world”, but it truly does feel like a world of its own! It’s not only magazines that try to hone in on helping you find the one – TV, books, your mum, and even websites like this one are always pushing their “tried and tested” methods on you.
We all know it’s not really that simple, but I too, am going to share with you one of the wisest pieces of advice I ever received when I was out there in the big, vast world of dating. It initially sounded a bit controversial, but it makes more sense than you may immediately think it does.
The most “controversial” piece of advice that I received whilst in the dating world was from my therapist. Yes, I had a therapist in my 20’s, and you know what, it was the best thing I ever did. But as I tend to say often enough, that’s another story for another day. After using my sessions to vent about the current state of affairs in my romantic life, my male therapist said something that ended up being quite revolutionary for me at the time. “Your goal should be to date 3 people at the same time”, he said. I think my eyes went even bigger than they already are. This was ridiculous, and not only was it ridiculous it was carte blanche to go around the block if you catch my drift. Of course, that’s not what he meant, but this sage advice opened up a new way of thinking for me and helped me come out of the old-fashioned notion that I had been blinded by.
Dating 3 people at once felt off, to say the least. We are conditioned to believe that we need to be “loyal” and “faithful” to our potential long-term partners from the get-go. Not only is that completely ridiculous, it’s completely erroneous. Why would you possibly want to “settle” for what could be “the one” at such an early age.
The thing is this, to some, your early 20’s isn’t really that young an age at all. By that time you should be getting ready to settle down, and having a long-term partner already is something that is usually commended. Sure, you’re 23, but you’ve been with your partner for 6 years, that’s brilliant! There are people that do find the one early on, but the flip side is that quite a number of those relationships are finished by the age of 30 and sometimes it comes down to only having tasted one flavour before committing to loving that sole flavour for the rest of your life.
Dating 3 people at the same time is the perfect way to get to know yourself. It shows you what you like, and what you don’t. The power of choice is everywhere, but getting to know different people simultaneously is seen as scheming? That’s surely not right. I mean, why buy a car without test driving different brands and models. Would you? I’m not talking about sleeping with people or leading them on, but getting to know different people and leaving that burden of commitment aside early on can help you develop a stronger sense of your likes and dislikes and help you make the right decision when the time does come that you find “the one”.
Think of dating as a job interview. You surely wouldn’t take the first job or hire the first candidate that applies – that’s desperation and that opens up a whole other can of worms.
So the takeaway is this, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, and if you are looking for a dating companion why not look for 3? You’ll get to know more about yourself by interacting with them and ultimately be primed and ready for when the right candidate comes along. Local dating sites like Galloway dating, Hereford dating, Reading dating, Sussex dating, and over 50s dating Yorkshire can help get you started.