The dating world has recently been piquing my interest. No, my relationship isn’t in turmoil, quite the opposite actually. It’s just that having people around me in the dating world is making me evermore curious to see that though the circumstances may be different when dating in your 50’s there are so many similarities to the days when I used to make the rounds in the dating scene.
Believe me, dating wasn’t an aspect of my 20’s that I particularly liked, nor do I miss it. I have learnt a lot of lessons from my time spent in the world of dating, and it seems to me that even though dating in your 50’s is still very different from dating in your 20’s (goodbye to the tick-tock of the biological clock), it can prove to be just as tough. Even though the circumstances of dating in your 20’s and your 50’s can be day and night, there are still some very important things to remember no matter what your age. If you’re casually dating it’d be wise to heed my advice.
The Unexpected Similarities Between Dating in Your 20’s and Dating in Your 50’s
The Need to Practice Safe Sex
If you were/are in your 20’s and casually dating, chances are that “practice safe sex” was at the top of your dating priorities. That should’t change for 50 year old’s, and practicing safe sex should still be at the top of the list. While the reasons tend to be entirely different, practicing safe sex is always a good idea at any age, but especially if you are immersed in the dating scene and are casually dating. In your 20’s your priority was to not get pregnant (probably tied with don’t get an STD) and you may not think that the entire safe sex agenda also applies to you in your 50’s. Think again. Cases of HIV and STD’s are on the rise with the over 50’s due to the promiscuity and renaissance this age group is experiencing in the casual dating scene.
The Need for Your Personal Space
Fun fact, I’ve only lived with one man. Although, I don’t think this is the norm, I do find that it helped me tremendously as I was navigating not only my dating life, but also getting to know myself more as an adult and solidifying who it is I was. As it happens in your 20’s the excitement of a new lover can sweep you off your feet, but you needn’t let it carry you away.
In your 20’s it is wise to not live with your partner initially as it helps you grow in your relationship and grow as an individual without feeling suffocated or having another persons daily needs hinder your own. In your 50’s you are probably used to living in your own home, either having lived on your own for a long time or even a few years. You know your likes, dislikes, and there’s something about someone else disrupting your routine and personal space that can quickly make living together go from romantic gesture to unavoidable annoyance.
Dating in Your 50’s: The Insecurities
Will this go anywhere? Should I call him first? Does this dress make me look fat? Whether you are in your 20’s or your 50’s I hear dating insecurities that almost mirror each other from each side of the spectrum. My 20 something friends are dealing with whether or not it’s a power move to call him out if he’s being distant, whilst my 50 something family members are dealing with whether or not they should speak up for themselves and their feelings if he is being distant.
The commonality is that some of these women aren’t sure of themselves and what it is they are willing to accept from a partner. Whether they have been dating for 10 years without finding the man they’ll marry, or they’ve done the whole marriage thing already and the prospect of starting over makes them vulnerable, we all tend to have the same insecurities despite our age.
All in all we aren’t so different. Even though with age comes experience and that experience brings wisdom, it’s not always what one expects it to be. The dating game is called the dating game for a reason, and the best way to make it work for you is to play your cards right, have fun, and at least in the sense of enjoying it, playing it as a game.
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