Courting is such an antiquated word that I bet if I ask anyone under the age of 20 they probably wouldn’t have heard it used in a modern day context. In my last post about dating, I shared with you guys the best piece of dating advice that I have ever received, and that led me to another little nugget of wisdom that came my way once upon a time. Sure, it seems as though all of the good pieces of advice come our way after we need them, and even though the ship has completely sailed for me I think youngsters should date more and court less.
You may think I am a hypocrite by writing this soon after beaming that my 19-year-old little sister has recently tied the knot. No, I am not a hypocrite, so hear me out. In many cultures, such as the Hispanic and Latin one, the pressure of courting is heightened. Sure, there are other cultures where the pressure is even more intense, but I write about what I know and I know that my people are obsessed with ensuring that you are “taken care of” and that you “settle down” as soon as humanly possible. It’s insane! I don’t only speak from the perspective of a late bloomer by those standards but from the perspective of someone who fancies themselves quite a progressive human being. The pressure that you are under as an under 20 in many cultures is not only antiquated, but I think can be quite harmful.
But So and So is …
Married. Engaged. In a 5 year relationship at the tender age of 18. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. The list of comparisons goes on and on. When one thinks of peer pressure smoking and underage drinking come to the mind of most, but the pressure to “find love” and “settle down” is real. Especially, if not exclusively among young ladies. I’ve personally seen so many cases of girls even having children because their best friend is pregnant and oh-my-gosh-wouldn’t-it-be-cool-to-be-pregnant-at-the-same-time?! No, just no.
So, what is the takeaway you may ask? Encourage the youth to date and not court. Dating is all about having fun and getting to know about your peers and certainly about getting to know more about yourself. There certainly are exceptions and sometimes age is really just a number, but more often than not kids forget to be kids and grow up way too soon and end up regretting it.
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